


Can You See Me?

by Wayywardwayys



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), F/F, F/M, Hallucination Lucifer (Supernatural) | Hallucifer, Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, References to Supernatural (TV), The Impala (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27779188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayywardwayys/pseuds/Wayywardwayys
Summary: I remember the noise the ground made as it swallowed me and my brothers. I remember the way my skin felt against the burning cold metal of the cage and I remember the sound of the tortured souls trapped in hell. But most clearly, I remember him. The way his eyes wondered across my body as I sat there, fixed into a crippled gaze, listening. His voice next to my ear added to the horrible screams, sending chills through my body. The worst part about it was that he was using Sam for this torment, maybe thinking it would be more effective. It worked.
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural)/You, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer/Original Female Character(s), Meg Masters/You, Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I remember the noise the ground made as it swallowed me and my brothers. I remember the way my skin felt against the burning cold metal of the cage and I remember the sound of the tortured souls trapped in hell. But most clearly, I remember him. The way his eyes wondered across my body as I sat there, fixed into a crippled gaze, listening. His voice next to my ear added to the horrible screams, sending chills through my body. The worst part about it was that he was using Sam for this torment, maybe thinking it would be more effective. It worked.

The final chord of the invisible fanfare played and the hidden crowd watched as the game ended. We lost the match. It was over. Suddenly, there was no music or cheering, instead silence rippled through the air and into my ear drums. My heart pounded against my chest and I felt the blood pumping through my veins.

I remember the noise the ground made as it swallowed me and my brothers. I remember the way my skin felt against the burning cold metal of the cage and I remember the sound of the tortured souls trapped in hell. But most clearly, I remember him. The way his eyes wondered across my body as I sat there, fixed into a crippled gaze, listening. His voice next to my ear added to the horrible screams, sending chills through my body. The worst part about it was that he was using Sam for this torment, maybe thinking it would be more effective. It worked.

That was three months ago. In some miraculous way I survived the cage, so did Sam. I found out when I returned to Earth that he had been back for over a year, which lead me to question why it took so long to drag me out. What was so different about me? Our half brother, Adam, wasn't so lucky. It's hard to think about him though. It's hard to think about anything with Lucifer creeping around in my mind. He found a way to attach some part of him to me, he's not real though, I know that. It just feel so real.

The boys still don't know about this. It looks like Sam got out lucky, he seems normal- well as normal as you can get after being possessed by the devil and thrown into hell. He's trying his best, we all are. After three months you may think I've found a way to block out Lucifer but he's strong, as he should be, he's Satan. I don't expect it to be easy. He's very annoying, always shouting in my ears when I'm trying to concentrate or singing god awful songs that get stuck in my head. Sam, Dean and Castiel are either completely oblivious of my issue or have noticed me acting strange and are plotting a plan to get me to speak.

I'll tell them, just not yet. They already have enough on their hands as it is, Castiel is fighting the war up in heaven and Sam and Dean had family issues. Our grandfather is alive and well, from what I've heard he isn't a nice man, and he's working with Crowley to resurrect our dead mother. To add too this mess, Crowley is the king of hell. My problem seems mediocre at the moment compared to that, so I'm keeping it to myself for now. If they mention it then I'll tell them.

Another important detail in the lives of the Winchester Trio is that my older brother, Dean, got himself a girlfriend over my extended vacation to hell. Her name is Lisa, I remember her. I met her about 5 years ago on a hunt for the first time; she has a kid called Ben. I'm happy for Dean that he lived a normal life and got out of hunting. It's very rare that happens. Both of my brothers have had somewhat of a success with it, I've never got to try it for as long as Sam and Dean have. Life hasn't worked out that way for me I guess, maybe it will someday but for now it's stopping the apocalypse. Ever since mum died, it's been all work and no play.

Our dad, John Winchester, dragged us around from town to town. For the first ten years of my life I had no idea what my father did for a living, Sam and Dean did everything they could to keep me oblivious of the supernatural. However, on the night of my eleventh birthday Sam and I were sleeping in the crappy motel room that we called our house when a bloodsucker attacked.

I didn't die, obviously, but it was terrifying. I remember Dean busting through the door of the room and shooting the vamp in the head. Now we know that wasn't effective at all, it just made it angry. I don't blame him though. Dad then ran in and sliced the head clean off the creature, blood splattering all over me. I didn't speak for two weeks after that, mostly from the shock of finding out that things that go bump in the night are very much real. John blamed Dean for what happened, which is bullshit, it was no one's fault.

As you may tell, the relationship with my father was brittle. We didn't get along very well. I was a rebellious child, always pulling Sam and Dean around to places when dad specifically told us not to move. When I was a teenager things got worse. Sammy was starting to disagree with dad too, we talked about going to college and running away from the family business, well he did. I listened.

College, I knew, was never going to be an option for me. I didn't have enough brain for that, I'm not dumb so don't get that idea. But out of Sam and me, he would definitely win for the best report card. I'm like Dean, good at hunting. Him and I have stayed together all our lives, we have each other's backs. When Sam went to collage I felt so alone, for nineteen years I had my brother by my side. That night dad got angry. Tears were shed, mostly from me but also Dean. He doesn't know that I saw him crying though.

Of course I was happy for Sam; he finally got to live a normal life. We called from time to time, I visited him too. Jessica was lovely. Never in a million years would I have expected to return to Stanford with Dean to tell him that dad was missing and then returning after a hunt to find my brother's girlfriend burning on the ceiling. Jess died the same way mum died, in the hands of the yellow eyed demon, Azazel. From that moment, I knew I had to kill that son of a bitch.

That was almost six years ago, now we've got bigger problems to deal with. Purgatory is on its way to being opened by the king of hell himself, a civil war is taking place in Heaven and I've got Satan stuck in my head.

What could possibly go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm good, Cas." I say, smiling slightly at him.
> 
> "No, you're not." I raise my eyebrows and feel my head beat a little quicker. "You fell into the cage with Lucifer."
> 
> "Yeah well, miracles do happen." I laugh.

"Hey, kid." The rough voice of my oldest brother calls. "Rise and shine, sleepy head."

"Go away." I mutter, covering my head with my pillow. "How did you get into my room anyway?"

I hear him sigh, placing a heavy object on the table.

"I picked the lock." Dean replies like it's the most normal thing.

Lifting my head up from the pillow, I stare at him. He smirks, obviously at my bed head, trying not to laugh. I shake my head in disappointment at his childish behavior.

"Stop laughing at me." I tell him off.

"What?" He places his hands up in front of him. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm, ugh, laughing at the newspaper on the table."

I get out of bed and pick up the newspaper that sits on the table, reading the headline. 'Florida Man Arrested on Counts of Suspected Murder'.

I show him the title and raise an eyebrow, "I knew you had a weird sense of humor, Dean, but this is really crossing the line."

"Shut up." He mutters, leaving through the front door. I laugh, throwing the paper on the table and heading into the bathroom to take a shower.

I didn't sleep very well last night, it wasn't Lucifer, I was watching this really good show that I've never seen before and it ended on a cliff-hanger. I hate it when that happens.

I step into the shower and take a well deserved wash. Despite it being in a crappy motel it's one of the only periods of slight comfort I get on this job.

As I step out of the shower I hear Sam's voice from outside the bathroom.

"Aubrey!" He shouts. "You ready?"

"In a sec!" I reply, drying my hair with the spare towel. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Calumet City, Illinois." Sammy tells me. "Four suicides in two weeks, we think something's off."

"Sounds strange." I agree. "What is it? Demon or something?"

"That's what we need to find out so get ready quick."

"Okay, bossy." I mutter back, stepping out of the bathroom. "Now shoo so I can get dressed."

He rolls his eyes and walks out of the door. I pick up my usual hunting gear: jeans, tee shirt, leather jacket and boots.

As I turn the TV on once I've finished getting ready, I see in the corner of my eye a figure lurking. With my gun pointing in the air, I turn around to face the stranger.

"Whoa, darling, don't shoot." He laughs, putting his hands up in defense.

"Lucifer." I sigh, placing my gun back in my pocket. "What, so now you watch people get changed?"

"No." He walks over to the couch and sits down, skimming through one of the magazines. "Just got bored, wanted to pop in."

"Well pop back out." I collect my belongings together and pack them in my rucksack, slinging it over my shoulder.

"Oops, can't do that." He smiles at me. "You see, I'm a part of you now whether you like it or not."

"Shut up!" I shout.

The door to my motel room opens and Sam walks in, he stares at me and leans against the door frame.

"Who are you talking to?" He questions.

"No one, Sam." I shake my head. "Come on, let's go."

Ignoring Lucifer's cries of, "Lair, lair", I walk past Sam and out of the dingy room. The Impala sits outside with Dean in the front seat.

"Ready, Aubs?" He asks, looking at me in the mirror.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I reply, looking at Sam who lingers outside the motel room on his phone doing God knows what. "Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean says, turning to face me.

"Does Sammy seem off to you?" I ask, noticing over the past couple of days that Sam's behavior has been very different.

I hear Dean sigh, "You noticed it too?" I nod my head. "Aubrey, I don't know what's wrong with him but I don't think its any good. How are you, anyway?"

I pause, leaning back in my seat.

"I'm doing well." I lie, not looking him in the eyes.

"No you're not, you went to hell Aubrey. Worse, you got trapped in the cage with Lucifer and Michael" He replies, a shiver runs down my spine at the mention of the cage. "From person experience-"

Dean gets interrupted as Sam opens the door to the Impala and sits down, placing his bag in the back seat next to me. When Sam sits down, I see Dean shift uncomfortably in his seat. About a week ago we went on a vampire case, freaking hate vamps. Dean got bit which made me hate the creatures even more, we found a cure though. However, I remember very clearly about Dean saying that Sam let Dean get bit.

"You ready?" I quickly say, leaning over the seats to them.

I see Sam look at Dean and me for a brief moment and nod, so does Dean. Getting comfy in the back seat of the 67 Chevy, I look out of the scenery outside.

In the side mirror, Dean checks on me every few minutes. I give him a reassuring smile to say that I'm okay and he seems to be good about that. The three of us sit in a somewhat uncomfortable silence, the music softly playing through the speakers as we drive to Calumet City, Illinois.

*

I wonder around the house, dressed in my FBI attire, as the sister of one of the victims speaks to us. She seems distraught as you would be if your sibling killed themselves. I'm a Winchester; after all, I've experienced the death of a sibling more than once.

"I don't understand." She says, holding a photo of the victim. "Why would federal investigators be interested in suicide?"

"Well, um." I begin. "It's a new, more caring administration."

"Well I already told the cops. Jane was having a really bad day, so I did what any sister would do." She tells us, sitting down. Dean walks through the door and waits for the answer. "I tired to cheer her up, told her to hang in there."

"You know what a tell is?" Sam speaks up suddenly; I turn to him and see that his face is curled up into a sly smile.

"Excuse me?" The woman replies.

"It's a poker term for when you're bluffing." Sam explains. "Like what you just did with your hair."

"What are you trying to say?" The woman questions, startled by Sam's remark.

"You're lying." I widen my eyes at my brother's remark. "Tell us what you did to your sister."

"You're right, I was lying." She cries. "I wanted to tell her 'I love you, I'm here for you'. But what came out was 'you're a burden, just kill yourself'. Who says that? I just couldn't stop."

I look up at Dean with a confused expression. Then I turn to Sam who has a smug look on his face. We decide that it's the right time to leave, so we say goodbye and exit the house.

"See anything in the house?" I ask Dean as we walk to the Impala.

"No hex bags, no Sulphur, no EMF, you?" He replies.

"A tuba and an issue of Crochet Today." I reply, folding my arms.

"So what, already kind of suicidal?" Sam adds.

"Right, and then big sis's taxicab confession sends her over the edge." Dean continues. "Question is, what made sis open her mouth in the first place?"

"Yeah, that is the question." Sam agrees.

*

Back at the motel, I sit on the bed as Dean is on the phone. I'm still thinking about the conversation with Dean that we had, Sammy isn't Sammy.

"Hey, you found anything?" Dean walks over to the window, looking out.

"What are you on about?" I ask, standing up and walking over to him.

"Awesome." He replies heavily to whatever the other person said on the line. "Yeah my skin crawls being in the same room as him, why don't you look that up?"

He's talking to Bobby about Sam. I take the phone from Dean and hold it up to my ear.

"Hey, Bobby, it's me." I say.

"Hey, kid." I hear him smile. "How you been?"

"Just hanging on. Look, Sam's been acting different ever since I saw him again after I got out from hell. We need to figure out what's wrong with him and quick." I explain, folding my arms.

"Put me on speaker, Aubrey." I do as he asks. "I'm trying. But guys, there's a worst case scenario."

"What? Satan's my co-pilot. I know." Dean remarks. I tense up at the mention of Lucifer, worried about the fact that they both don't know about my hallucinations.

"Well, that'd be the other worst case. Maybe it's just Sam." Bobby suggests.

"I gotta go." Dean picks up his phone and takes Bobby off speaker. I roll my eyes and collapse on the bed again "You got a day Bobby, and then I'm handling this."

"I hope you mean 'we're handling this'." I reply, picking up my beer and taking a drink. Dean looks at me and nods his head, drinking his beer too.

I watch as he scrolls through his phone before landing on a contact. It's probably Lisa. Dean presses the button and the phone rings but before the other person could answer he switches it off, placing it against his head and sighing.

"There was another one." Sam's voice sounds through the silent motel room.

"What is it?" I ask, standing up and straightening my skirt out.

"Dentist assistant drilled its patient to death." He replies, looking at me.

"You mean the non-sexy kind of drilling right?" Dean asks, standing up next to me. I roll my eyes.

"Ten bucks says he's messed up in all the crazy." Sam bets.

"You think?" Dean and I reply at the same time.

"Let's talk to him." Sam announces.

"Okay, why don't you go ahead?" Dean begins, I turn to face him. "I'll catch up. I'm gonna stay behind and do some research."

"You sure?" Sam asks.

"We gotta know what we're up against." He defends. We look between each other in silence for a couple of seconds.

"Yeah." I break the awkwardness. "That's a good idea, Sam and I will go and check and demon dentist."

I turn to face the door and follow Sam as he walks out but before I do I turn to look at Dean.

"Hey." I call out. "It'll be okay."

"Be careful when you're with him." Dean tells me, rubbing his hand over his face.

"It's Sammy." I remind him, though mentally checking the box in my mind labelled 'always have your back'.

"Yeah, I hope." Dean replies. I smile weakly, closing the door behind me and getting to the passengers seat.

"Let's go."

*

After a short drive to the police station, Sam and I ask the police about the suicides. He gets out his phone once we step out into the cool breeze and phones Dean.

I wait as they speak to each other, messing around with the bracelet that is on my wrist. Quickly, I follow in Sam's large footsteps. It's hard to keep up with him sometimes, I hate having short legs. Why do I have to be the shorter twin?

"We're going to the morgue to check out the bodies." Sam tells Dean. "Why don't you take the dentists office?"

"Hey, Sammy." I speak up once he's finished on the phone. "Drive me back to the motel, will you?"

"Sure, why?" He asks a confused look on his face.

"Eh, I'm not in the mood to poke around dead bodies, that's all." I lie; the truth is that I want to talk to Dean. Being around Sam is strange and I don't like it.

"Okay." He nods, getting into the car. I follow behind and we drive away.

*

As I near the motel room I hear dean shouting at someone. I grab my gun out of my pocket and point it in front of me, slowly grabbing the door handle and opening it wide.

"Whoa, Aubrey!" Dean shouts, spinning round quickly.

"Oh." I quickly place the gun down and close the door. "Hey, Cas."

"Aubrey." He nods at me, smiling.

"What are you two shouting at?" I ask, taking off my annoying blazer and sitting on the chair.

"Cas, here, shows up finally after days of me asking him to just to talk about a stupid horn." Dean complains. I roll my eyes, looking at Castiel who does the same.

"You're acting like a married couple." I mutter, standing up and walking towards them both. "Cas, what's up?"

"I'm here about the Horn of Truth." He says. "I'm not here about Sam because I have nothing to offer."

"That's great, because for all we know he's a gift wrap for Lucifer." Dean exclaims, making me flinch slightly.

"No, he's..." Cas picks up the bottle of alcohol on the table and opens it. "He's not Lucifer."

"How do you know that?" I ask, curious.

"If Lucifer escaped the cage, we'd feel it." He explains, poring Dean and myself a drink.

"What is wrong with him?" Dean asks.

"I don't know, Dean." Castiel replies, looking him in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What happened to you, Cas?" I look at Dean and give him a questioning look. "You used to be human or at least like one."

"I'm at war." He turns around.

"Aren't we all?" I mutter, folding my arms and looking down at the old carpet.

"Certain regrettable things are now required of me." He explains.

"Gabriel's Horn of Truth. That's a real thing?" Dean asks the angel. "We think it's in town. Something forcing people-"

He gets cut off just as Castiel vanishes into thin air. I shake my head; I've never liked it when he does that. Dean shouts his annoyance as I sit back down on the chair.

As I look over to the other side of the table I see Lucifer sitting down, reading a copy of 'Busty Asian Beauties'. I shake my head at his choice of magazine, though I have to block him out as well as I can. In front of me Cas has reappeared and he and Dean are talking, none of their conversation is being taken in by me.

"Aubrey, psst." He hisses, placing the magazine back down on the table. "Horn of Truth, eh? Or whatever the hell it is. It's not good thing."

"I know you still haven't told your brothers or your angelic boyfriend about me, you could say we're going behind their back. Kinky."

I sigh.

"You know, you're going to have to tell them sometime." Lucifer taunts. "Maybe today? Maybe tomorrow? I will get it out of you though."

"I'm not saying a word about it." I hiss as quietly as possible.

"Aubrey!" Dean's voice snaps me out of my argument with Satan. "Earth to Aubrey."

"Hey, what?" I rub my eyes, standing up and walking towards them.

"You were talking to yourself." Dean tells me.

"Oh, okay." I reply.

"How are you, Aubrey." Castiel asks me, tilting his head.

"I'm good, Cas." I say, smiling slightly at him.

"No, you're not." I raise my eyebrows and feel my head beat a little quicker. "You fell into the cage with Lucifer."

"Yeah well, miracles do happen." I laugh. With that he disappears, leaving me and Dean in silence. I sigh again, grabbing my other clothes and heading into the bathroom to get changed. When I walk out I see that the room is empty, on the bed is a sticky note:

'Went to get a drink. Be back soon.

\- D'

Lying down, now back in some comfy clothes, I turn on the TV a watch whatever is on. With the sound on in the background I reach into my bag and take out my leather bound journal and start to write in it. I've had this ever since I was a teenager, always wrote in it when I felt like I needed to talk to someone. These days I've been writing in it more than ever.

After writing a little bit my hand stars to hurt so I take out my phone and call Dean.

"It's not a good time to talk." He says instantly.

"Dean, wait." I plead.

"Whatever you're going to say, I don't want the truth." He replies.

"What?" I question. "All I was gonna ask is where you are?"

"Oh, I'm on my way to find Sam." He exhales; I hear the car begin to start. "Just stay at the motel, we'll be back soon."

"Okay." I close my phone and wait.

*

"Finally, you're here!" I shout, sitting up from my weird position on the sofa. "It's been ages and all I've been doing is watch reruns of freaking Sesame Street. Let me tell you one thing, Bert and Ernie are gay."

"I knew it!" Dean shouts, taking the computer and opening it on the table. "So this was the chick's pet?"

I look up and see him cleaning a cat's skull, what the hell has happened this time?

"What's this?" I ask, sitting down with my brothers.

"Girl, demons, jealousy, boyfriend, death." Sam tells me, typing away on his laptop.

"So the usual." I nod my head.

Sam nods his head, "I think she was obsessed."

"More like crazy." Dean corrects.

"All right. So cat skull, grains of paradise seed, devil's shoestring." Sammy lists the items. "Mix them well and you've got yourself a summoning spell."

"Demon?" Dean and I say together.

"God."

"Crap." I mutter, leaning back in my chair.

"Corey was so desperate for the truth about her boyfriend's cheating heart she was digging around." Sam explains. "Nothing panned out so she went looking for a different kind of help."

"Opened a door she couldn't close." Dean adds.

"See, that's why I've never had a boyfriend." I speak to myself. "Too much drama. One night stands are so much easier: no drama because you don't even know the person and too, you don't have to get to know them or deal with their bull crap!"

"And she awoke Veritas." Sam continues, ignoring my outburst. "Now whoever asks for the truth in town doesn't just get given the truth, she slams you with it until you kill yourself and she gets her tribute."

"So all that tribute vanishing from the morgue, what do you think Soylent Green situation?" Dean asks him.

"Gods gotta eat too..." I reply.

"This means we gotta take her out or you're on the menu." I raise my eyebrows at Sam.

"Wait, you asked for the truth?" I question, looking at Dean. He nods. Why haven't I spilled the beans about Lucifer?

"Alright, well what do we know apart from crazy cat lady?" Dean moves on.

"Well, dogs are her Achilles heel." I say, scanning the article that's on the computer. "She was a pretty hands-on Goddess back in the day; her thing was coming down from the mountain to speak truth to the masses. Wow, sounds like to much effort."

"She wanted more than tribute, she wanted to be worshiped." Sam interjects.

"An attention whore." Dean suggests.

"If you want to put it that way."

"And what is the 21st-century version of a speaking truth to the masses?" I ask, knowing exactly who we were after.

When I was watching Burt and Ernie the news came on which was boring and there was a news reporter who just had a vibe to her, she's Veritas. 

Great.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're right; I was down in the cage with you." I stand up and walk over to him. "Do you know what I saw?"
> 
> He shakes his head.
> 
> "I saw you as Lucifer's meat suit." I hiss. "You tormented me until I felt like blowing my brains out. Sometimes I can't even look at you without wanting to punch you. I know it wasn't you, Sam. I know that. But you don't know the feeling of knowing that everyday Lucifer is still crawling around inside your head."

After hours of watching through endless video tapes of the same woman saying her name over and over and talking about the costs of 'organic fruits and veggies', I've come to the realization that my life sucks.

"She's creepy." Dean mutters, sitting on the bed and eating. "I mean the hair alone. I don't know man, maybe there's nothing here?"

"It's been hours." I collapse face down on the bed and drift off listening to the sickly sound of Ashley Frank's voice on Sam's laptop.

*

"Hold on." Then the sound of a strangely loud chair screeches along the floor. I keep my eyes open slowly, cringing as I see the sunlight shine through the curtain.

"Jesus, you've been doing this for how long?" I ask, genuinely impressed by Sam's patience.

"Check this out." He tells me and Dean. We gave round the laptop and watch as a dog barks at Ashley, making her mess up her tape.

"Zoom in on that." Deans asks.

As Sam does what is asks we realize that her eyes have a reflective blue light on them, that's never good.

We pack up our hunting things and wait until dark. Our plan, or Sam and Dean's plan, is to camp outside her house and stalk her. I never like doing this, it makes me nervous but I know it's needed.

The engine roars to life as we see her car drive past ours that is hidden in the shadows. Along the road that she drives down is a huge house that I could only dream of living in one day. Its walls are almost all window and everything is neat and extravagant.

Her little red car sits in the doorway, rather lazily parked may I add, and I watch as she walks into her home. From the outside it looks normal, as it should, but I'm sure there is something more to it. There always is.

"Looks pretty normal." Sam suggests.

"I'm sure inside its chock full of creep." I reply.

The lights inside turn on and I scrunch my eyebrows together, wondering why her windows are so big. I mean, I can literally see inside her house, there is hardly any privacy. I guess she's got nothing to hide. She's presumed to be the Goddess of Truth, so why not live like it?

"Ready?" Dean asks, picking up three knives and hands them to me and my brother.

"Yeah." We reply, Sam holds up a jar of red liquid- which I presume is blood- and opens the lid.

"Dogs blood." He explains.

"Do I wanna know where you got that?" I ask, shivering.

"Probably not." Sam replies, I sigh.

"Careful of Baby." Dean angrily says. "Alright let's do this."

We clamber out of the Impala and sneak out into the night. After breaking in through a window, somehow not setting off any security alarms which always make me worried, my brother and I lounge through the magnificent building that is her home. It reminds me of something from a movie, it's so huge. Despite how glamorous it is, I wouldn't want to live there. Everything is to set up, it doesn't feel like home. Then again, I don't really know what home feels like.

"So where's all the creep?" Sam asks as we walk round a corner. A fire crackles at the wall and next to it sits a cat that meows at us, and then runs away.

The jingle on its collar makes it easy to follow, as we do that it leads us downstairs and into a room where there is a picture of the Goddess herself. Then into another room where the cat is eating a dead body of some sort. I'll never get that image out of my mind. Hanging on a contraction is the rest of the body, all bloody and red from, what looks like, being skinned alive. How homely.

Lying on a metal bed is a man who looks, probably her next meal. Suddenly, a female voice is heard from behind us. We quickly turn around but not fast enough as I feel my body being thrown across the room from her Godly powers. My head hits the hard ground but just before I feel blood cling to my face and the image of the skinned body above my eyes.

*

My hands and feet are tied together along with my brothers; we sit, trapped against metal pipes. Looking up, Veritas picks up a knife from the table.

"Sit tight." She evilly tells us, smirking. "You're next. The tongue is the tastiest part; it's where the lies roll off."

I scoff as I watch the woman eat a human tongue, enjoying it like it's some kind of beef burger.

"I can't wait to eat yours." She tells us. "I mean, I've seen liars before, but you three? Gold standard."

"Point of professional pride." I sass, earning a glare from her.

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you, Aubrey." She warns. "You know what happens when you base your life on lies, right? The truth comes along and..."

I shift uncomfortably in my position, already hearing the condescending voice of Lucifer in my head. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to focus on anything he that.

"So, while you've still got your tongue, God knows you've got an earful." She tells me, leaning down. "I think it's time to spill some. How about we play a little Truth or Truth?"

"I'm more of a Would You Rather type of girl." I mutter.

"Hush." She snaps. "What should we ask first? Something personal about your brother? Hey, Dean, I'm curious, what do you really feel about your brother?"

"Better now." He says. I know he's going to come clean about not trusting Sammy. "As of yesterday, I wanted to kill him in his sleep. I thought he was a monster. Then I realized that he's just acting like me."

Turning to face Sam, I see his eyes fill with shock at what he's hearing from Dean. I too am shocked by his words, not knowing he felt this much hatred.

"What do you mean?" Veritas asks.

"It's the gig." He replies, sounding wounded. "You're covered in blood till you're in your own blood. Half the time you're about to die like right now. I told myself I wanted out... that I wanted a family."

"But you were lying."

"No." Dean says firmly. "But what I'm good at is slicing throats, I ain't a father. I'm a killer. There's no changing that, I know that now."

Veritas hits Dean's arm and stands up, walking slowly around the room.

"So Sam and Aubrey walking back into your life must have been a relief?" She asks. "How do you feel about the band getting back together, Sam?"

"Look." Sam mutters, coughing awkwardly. "What we do is hard, but we watch out for each other and that's what's important. That's it, that's the truth."

"You're lying!" She shouts, walking over to me and grabbing me by the hair.

"You're brother over there is cheating the game, you're the only one left. I need my fun." She growls. I feel my eyes start to water with tears; they're going to find out.

"Tell me, Aubrey." I shakily breathe. "What one thing are you keeping from both of your brothers?"

Time stands still all of a sudden, all I can hear is my whimpering breaths. I try and resist the Goddess but she's just too powerful.

"I'm seeing Lucifer." The words fall off my tongue so easily, like saying the names of your loved ones. "I'm hallucinating him and I can't stop, it's been happening ever since I escaped the cage and it's getting worse."

"And is he with you right now?" Veritas asks, I see Sam and Dean scanning the room.

"He's- he's right in front of me." I splutter the voices of Veritas and Lucifer mix together. I can hardly tell who is speaking. The Devil taunts me, laughing like a maniac as he sees that he has finally got a worthy reaction from me.

"That's more like it." She says, stepping away from me. "Now what's wrong with your brother?"

"I'm telling the truth." He tells her, I feel both of their eyes glued to me as I shut mine closed, attempting to block out of voice in my head.

"That's not possible, you're lying to me." She shouts, looking at Sammy. "What are you? What is he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sam explains.

"Really?" Veritas and Lucifer say together.

"I doubt that." She hisses. "I doubt anything that comes out of your mouth right now. You're not human."

I shoot my eyes open at the words 'not human'. Dean mutters a quiet 'what' and the Goddess looks at him, smirking.

"You two didn't know that?" It almost sounds like she's trying not to laugh with joy. "Now that I believe."

Sam rips his arms from behind the metal pipe, swinging at Veritas. Dean follows behind, heading over me quickly and cutting the rope as fast as he could. I watch Sam get hit to the ground by Veritas who then climbs on top of Sam, pressing her hands over his airways.

"Help Sam!" I tell Dean, he nods, giving me the knife and I finish of cutting through the ropes.

Dean grabs a metal rod from the floor and plunges it through her stomach, the woman's face turn round and transforms into one with cat-like features. She hisses at Dean but just as she does that Sam holds a knife and stabs it through her chest, impaling her. He throws her lifeless body to the ground, Dean and I watching the process. My hands are finally free from the ropes and I run over to the boys. My heart drops as Dean holds up a knife to both me and Sam.

"Dean." I say slowly.

"Dean, it's me." Sam puts his hands up, pulling me backwards with him as our older brother walks towards us with the knife.

"You are not my brother." He replies. "And you have Satan on your side."

"Just listen-" Sam begins.

"What are you?" He demands, making me jump.

"Dean, it's me." Sam tries to tell him. "It's Aubrey. Please, just let us explain."

"Why the hell should I believe anything you say?" He asks.

"You want the truth? Here it is." I listen closely to Sammy. "There's something wrong with me, I've known it for a while. I've lied to you, and I let you get tuned by that vamp-"

"What?" I ask, shocked by the news.

"Because I knew there was a cure." Sam adds, like it's meant to solve everything. "And we needed it in that nest and I knew that you could handle it."

"Handle it?" Dean shouts. "I could have died. I could have killed Ben!"

"That should stop me cold." He admits. "But I- I just don't feel it. Ever since I came back I'm a better hunger than I've ever been. Nothing scares me anymore because I can't feel it."

I look at my brother, who was once my best friend, my partner in crime but now all I see his someone different. I see a killer, a murder. I'm sure he sees someone completely different too. I'm sure he sees a shattered hunter, I weak little girl.

"I think I need help." Sam tells us. Dean turns around, processing the information. Then suddenly he punches Sam in the face, knocking him over.

"No, Dean!" I shout, grabbing onto his arm but I get pushed away, crashing onto the floor. Dean grabs Sam's shoulders and continues to punch him, making his nose bleed. I scream for him to stop, not wanting to see my brothers in pain. After about twenty punches, Sam is out. I silently sit, curled up in a small heap on the floor, and study my oldest brother as he looks down at the mess on Sam's face. His breaths are heavy and calm, unlike mine.

"Dean?" I cry, salty tears covering my face. He stands up, slinging Sam over his shoulder, not taking another glance at me.

*  
The cold floor feels like ice as I sit, paralyzed. I hear the sound of footsteps walking towards me, they echo on the floor, sending chills up my spine.

"Aubrey, Aubrey, Aubrey." A menacing whisper creeps through the room. "My sweet, little Aubrey, don't be sad."

I feel his hand touch my cheek, 'it's not real' I repeat in my head. But it feels so real, so lifelike. I move my head to the side, away from his hand. My eyes stay tightly shut and I whimper quietly.

"Look at me Aubrey." Lucifer tells me, I ignore him. "Look at me!"

"Get away from me!" I shout, suddenly feeling arms wrap around me and pull me close. I kick and scream in the strangers grip.

"Aubrey!" I hear two voices this time. "Aubrey, it's me!"

"No, it's not." I run to the corner of the room, cowering in the corner. Looking up, two people walk towards me. As they cross into the light I see Lucifer... twice. "No! No, get-get away from me!"

"Aubrey, calm down." The one on the left says, he continues to walk towards me. I swing my arm out and punch him, then I do the same to the one on the right but my arm goes through him.

"Oops, you found me." Real Lucifer clicks his fingers, making himself disappear and the fake Lucifer reveal himself.

"Hey, hey, Aubrey." I hear the familiar sound of the angel's voice.

Slowly, I collapse against the wall, my face wet from the tears that never seem to stop. Castiel rushes over to me, taking a hold of my arm. I fall into his body, hugging him tightly. He doesn't hug back though, still getting used to human norms.

"This is the part where you hug back." I sniff, burying my head in his neck so I can't see anything else. So I can't see Lucifer.

"Oh." He stiffly wraps his arms around me in an awkward but comforting way. "Is this okay?"

I nod, now crying silently.

"Let's take you home." He whispers in his deep voice. I agree with him, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. Castiel still doesn't take his hand from my waist as walk out of the dungeon, leaving Veritas lying on the floor.

"Where's Dean?" I croak.

"He, urm, left with Sam." Cas explains gently.

"He left me here?" I ask, feeling almost betrayed.

"No, no." He replies quickly. "I told him to, I heard your screams from Heaven and I had to help you."

"Castiel, you're supposed to be fighting a war." I tell him, feeling guilty that he left to help me.

"Your problems always come first." Cas tells me. "Besides, it seems that there's a bigger war right here between you and your mind."

"Don't remind me." I sigh, putting my hands on my head.

"We will find a way to stop this, Aubrey." He places his hand on my right shoulder. "I will find a way."

"Okay." I nod, knowing that it's going to be a damn near impossible task. All of a sudden I feel my stomach turn, and then we're not in the huge mansion that we were once in. Cas and I stand in the motel room that me and brothers are staying in, on a chair sits an unconscious Sam.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel makes himself known to my brother, who is currently drinking a beer.

"Cas." He jumps. He looks at me quickly but then dodges my eye contact.

"What happened, Dean?" I ask him quietly, standing next to Castiel who looks between the two of us.

Walking over to me, he replies. "You're seeing Lucifer, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we have bigger problems to deal with, like what the hell is up with Sam?" I tell him, folding my arms. "I didn't want to worry you more than I had to."

"Listen to me." He begins. "No problem is more important than yours, you tell me and Sam when something is up even if there are a million other issues in the world, okay?"

I nod, looking down at the floor.

"No chick flick moments." I remind him, smirking. I head over to the sink and wash the dry blood from my face. As I do that, Dean and Cas tie up Sam's arms and legs so he can't move, I sigh. Seeing my brother like this is hard.

"You're right, he looks terrible." Cas says as he studies Sam, whose eyes open as Cas touches his face. "You did this?"

"Cas?" Sammy asks, confused.

"Has he been feverish?" Castiel lifts Sam's head up, making him grunt.

"Let me go." He asks.

"Have you?" Dean angrily says, staring daggers at Sammy.

"No, why?" Sam replies.

"Is he speaking in tongues?" Cas questions.

"No, what are you-?" Sam stutters. "Are you diagnosing me?"

"You better hope he can." Dean speaks up, walking over to them. "You think that there's a clinic out there for people who just pop out of hell wrong? He asks, you answer then you shut your hole. Got it?"

"How much do you sleep?" Castiel asks, checking Sam's pulse on his neck.

"I don't." Sam mutters.

"At all?" I question, surprised.

"Not since I got back." He admits. "But neither do you, I've seen you get about two hours per night at least."

"Yeah, well, at least I get sleep." I sigh, leaning against the wall and closing my eyes.

"It never occurred to you something might be off?" Dean shouts.

"Of course it did, Dean." Sam explains. "I just never told you."

"We're good at that, aren't we, Sammy?" I laugh, opening one eye. He looks at me and for a moment I see sadness in his eyes but then it disappears.

"Sam, what are you feeling now?" Castiel asks my brother.

"I feel like my nose is broken." He laughs.

"No, that's a physical sensation." Cas argues. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know." Sam admits, I open my eyes slowly and stand up straight. I look at Cas and see that he's taking off his belt, I raise my eyebrows and look at Dean.

"Cas, what are you doing?" I ask.

"This will be painful." He tells Sam, standing in front of him. "Bite down on this. If there's some place that you find soothing, you should go there... in your mind."

Castiel puts his belt in Sam's mouth; I share the same confused facial expression that my brothers share.

Suddenly, Cas slams his hand into Sam's stomach; a small glow erupts from the place where his hand entered. Sam groans, moving forward. On his neck, the veins start to glow a burning red.

"Cas, what the hell was that?" I ask, stunned. He takes the belt out of Sam's mouth. Sammy sits, breathing heavily.

"You find anything?" Dean asks.

"No." He replies.

"So that's good news?" I ask.

"I'm afraid not." Cas tells us. "Physically, he's perfectly healthy. It's his soul, it's gone."

"What?" Dean and I shout at the same time, I move my hands through my hair and pace around the room.

"I'm sorry, one more time." Dean says. "Say it like I'm five."

"When Sam was resurrected it was without his soul." Castiel explains.

"So where is it?" Dean asks.

"My guess is it's still in the cage with Michael and Lucifer." He suggests.

"So is he even still Sam?" I worry.

"Well you pose an interesting philosophical question." Cas tells us.

"Then get it back." Dean deadpans, like it's as easy as it's said. "You pulled me out, you pulled Aubrey out."

"It took several angels to rescue you and you weren't as well-guarded." He tells us both. "And Aubrey thinks she's still in the cage, I didn't exactly do a very good job. Lucifer has a grip on her. Sam's soul is in Lucifer's cage. There's a different, it's not possible."

"Wait, so what about me?" I realize, thinking that I could be soulless.

"We will have to see." Cas faces me; I stare back at him and shake my head.

"Wait, I don't want you reaching into me and doing all that freaky stuff you did with Sam." I tell Castiel as he walks over to me.

"It's the only way." He says. "Now get on the bed."

I stifle out a laugh; cautiously sit down on the bed.

"Hey, keep your hands to yourself." Dean tells Cas as he places the belt into my mouth. I smirk and raise my eyebrows at Castiel. He looks down at me, tilting his head. "You too, princess."

I shrug; suddenly feeling like my whole body is on fire. My neck burns up and I grip onto Castiel like I'm about to fall off a building. The glowing light that came from Sammy shines in my vision.

"It's still there?" Dean asks once Castiel has stopped.

"Her soul's intact." He replies. I lie back on the bed and try to maintain my breathing. That hurt like a bitch. "Aubrey, are you okay?"

Without saying anything, I lift my arm up and show thumbs up.

"What does that mean?" Cas asks Dean. "She's not hurt is she? I haven't broken her even more?"

"No, Cas, she's good." Dean reassures him, making me smile.

"Hey are you going to untie me?" Sam asks. I almost forgot that he's there.

"How am I supposed to let you out of this room?" Dean questions, looking at Sam.

"Dean, I'm not some psycho." Sam tells him. "I didn't want you to get hurt; I was just trying to stop the vamps... I'm sorry. It won't happen again, please let me go."

"You're kidding, right?" Dean angrily says.

"What you gonna do, keep me locked?" Sam challenges.

"Say that like it's a bad thing." Dean mutters, turning away from Sam.

"Okay fine." Sam sighs. "Look, I get it. I was wrong. I'm trying to get right. It's still me."

"Is it?" I ask him, sitting up.

"Yes." Sam faces me. "Aubrey, you were down there with me, you know what it's like."

"You're right; I was down in the cage with you." I stand up and walk over to him. "Do you know what I saw?"

He shakes his head.

"I saw you as Lucifer's meat suit." I hiss. "You tormented me until I felt like blowing my brains out. Sometimes I can't even look at you without wanting to punch you. I know it wasn't you, Sam. I know that. But you don't know the feeling of knowing that everyday Lucifer is still crawling around inside your head."

Sam stays silent; I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom. The tap shoots out freezing water; I bend down and splash some onto my face. Slowly lifting my head up to look into the mirror, I take a sigh of relief as I see my own reflection and not anything else.

"Cas, clean him up." I hear Dean say as I walk back out. Sam's face is back to normal and he's now standing up. The ass got out of the chair.

"Alright, if we're gonna find your soul we need to find out who yanked you free." Dean begins. "Cas, you pulled Aubrey out-"

"She was guarded less after Sam left, but I couldn't have done that for Sam." He explains, I look at him and smile lightly. "Whoever did it is strong."

"You have any idea?" I ask my brother.

"Well, I might have one." He replies.

*

After meeting up with Samuel, our grandfather and a man I cannot stand, we finally find out who resurrected Sam from the cage.

Crowley.

He's the King of Hell. We've met him a couple of times before. He told us that he resurrected Sam and Samuel because he needs our help. Samuel has been working for Crowley ever since his return from the dead.

In a room at his compound he held the OG vampire in a cage, he escaped though. He's trying to find Purgatory for Crowley and to get Sammy's soul back we need to help.

There's no other choice yet so we agree. It's going to be worth it though. It has to be worth it. I need my brother back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I walk into the building, the smell of liquor and self-hatred hits me in the face. A couple of people sit at the booths, sipping on their drinks. An old man lies drunk on a table in the car corner of the bar, his words slur out lazily. The calm music plays through the speakers and the sound of people playing pool edges me closer into the building. I take a seat away from the other people and order a beer, nothing too strong yet.

Sam, Dean and I stop off at this little diner on the side of a road. Old country music plays through the small speakers, nearly being drowned out by the rumble of the voices and the cars that pass us on the dirty road.

I sit besides Sam, whose eating salad, and mess around with the chips on my plate. Occasionally, I take a bite out of my burger but my appetite has been odd lately. The calm breeze and the sun shining on my face makes me long for a rest, however my luck with having a good night's sleep has been low.

"I know, Bobby, but there's got to be another way." Dean insists as he speaks to Bobby on the phone. "I don't know, keep digging. If Crowley things we're just gonna-"

"Crowley thinks you're gonna what, Dean?" The demon's thick British accent ripples through the air, making our heads turn to face him.

"That Bobby Singer?" He asks. "Give him a kiss for me."

"I'll call you back." Dean mutters into the phone.

"Good news, boys, lady." Crowley walks to our table and sits down opposite us. "I've got a job for you"

"I'm gonna say this once." Dean follows behind. "You can take your job and shove it up your ass."

"Is that anyway to talk to your boss?" He asks.

"You're not our boss, Dickbag."I reply.

"Dean, Aubrey, we've been through this." He looks at us and smirks. "Quit clutching your pears, you've been working for me for some time now. Sam here, longer."

"We didn't know." Sam tells him.

"Like that makes a difference to you." He replies. "You'd sell your brother and sister for a dollar right now if you really needed a soda."

I look down at the table and shake my head; we all stay silent for a moment. Crowley senses the awkwardness and continues.

"Look, I'm sending you-" He gets interrupted by Dean.

"No, I've done some shady stuff in my time but I am not doing this."

"Ten quid says you will." Crowley bets, I look at him and raise my eyebrows. All of a sudden, I feel an immense pain. Looking down, I see a red burn that Crowley placed on my hand. Hissing, I grab it. Sammy reacts the same way as Crowley touches his hand.

"Son of a bitch." I mutter, the pain still edging deeper into my skin.

"You like pain, Sam?" Crowley taunts. "You like hell, Aubrey? You need to stop thinking of this as some kind of deal; this is a hostage situation, you arrogant thugs."

I open my left hand and see the bright red mark still on my right hand, the burning sensation still prickling away.

"I own your brother, do you understand?" Crowley tells Dean. "Your sister is basically Lucifer's puppet."

He clicks his finger and the burn fully leaves our hands, I glare daggers at the man.

"Come on, Dean, smile." Crowley faces my oldest brother. "Here's an incentive: you bag me a live Alpha and I'll give you little Sammy's soul back with a cherry on top."

"Alpha vamp not good enough for you?" Sam snaps.

"Best mind where you poke your nose if you want to keep it." Crowley returns. "Your merry little hike up the food chain starts here. Businessman found dead in his car; chest ripped open, heart missing. Sounds like..?"

"Werewolf." Sam picks up the newspaper that the king of hell places on the table.

"No, it's not a full moon." I remind them.

"Werewolves turning on the full moon, so '09." Crowley says.

"He's right." Sam agrees. "Samuel and I ganked one about six months ago on a half-moon, things have been out of whack for a while now, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess." Dean watches Sam.

"So it's settled then." Crowley speaks up. "You bag the howler, bring it home to papa. See you soon, boys, Aubrey."

I let out a long breath I didn't know I was holding in and sigh, rolling my eyes at the short man who has now disappeared. Looks like we have a werewolf to catch.

*  
We roll into town after a night of driving, find the cheapest motel and snooze for a couple of hours. After our short sleep we get changed into our FBI attire and head to the crime scene.

"Agents Holt, Wilson and Talbot." Dean introduces us using our fake FBI names and identity badges.

"What are the feds doing here?" A short Asian man asks.

"Oh, we're specialists." Sam tells him. "They call us in to answer the questions of mouth-breathing dick monkeys."

All three of us look at Sam in confusion.

"So are you gonna walk us through this, or..?" He trails on, waiting for the man.

"Dockworker." The officer tells us. "Guy on the morning shift found him; chest ripped wide open."

"Same as the body in the car?" Dean questions.

"Yeah, second one in two days." He replies.

"Internal organs missing on both vics?" I ask. "Like their hearts?"

"Looks like it, yeah." The man replies. "How'd you know?"

"So this guy," Sam interrupts. "He had any enemies?"

"Yeah, plenty, but I don't think it was a wolf or a cougar that had any beef with him." He jokes. "You do realize that these were animal attacks."

"An animal out here?" Dean questions. "Well, you think it came for the sailing?"

After that short interaction we drive back to our motel room and research what it could possibly be that killed the people. From my lack of sleep I end up closing my eyes and when I open them, hours have passed.

"Sam?" I squint, my eyes getting used to the light.

"Yeah?" He questions, still in his FBI shirt and trousers.

"What time is it?" I tiredly ask, rolling over on the bed.

"Uh, 2:30." Sam replies.

"AM?"

"Yeah."

"Great." I sigh, throwing the pillow over my head and shutting my eyes. "Can't I just get one good night's sleep?"

"Apparently not." He retorts, laughing slightly.

"Says the person who doesn't sleep at all." I jokingly say back, smiling.

"At least I'm not Lucifer's puppet." I stop, my eyes open. I take the pillow off my head and stare at my brother angrily.

"You're an ass." I spit, getting up and heading to the bathroom where I wash my face. The cool water wakes me up slightly.

"Where are you going?" Sam questions as I walk out of the bathroom and pick up a plain black tee shirt, black skinny jeans, my old black boots and my leather jacket.

"Out." I simply reply, not looking at him, and walking back to the bathroom.

"Out where?" He asks again, standing up.

"To a bar." I shout. "To get drunk so I don't have to deal with your bullshit."

With that, I collect my phone and my gun and head out the door, slamming it closed behind me. The night air feels cold against my face, making me shiver. Deciding it's probably better to walk that to take Baby; I find a map and head to the closest bar I can find. After about a twenty minute walk I come across a bar named "The Old Yeller". 'Odd name for a bar,' I think to myself, shrugging. As I walk into the building, the smell of liquor and self-hatred hits me in the face. A couple of people sit at the booths, sipping on their drinks. An old man lies drunk on a table in the car corner of the bar, his words slur out lazily. The calm music plays through the speakers and the sound of people playing pool edges me closer into the building. I take a seat away from the other people and order a beer, nothing too strong yet.

"Thanks." I nod, thanking the waiter. A TV screen hangs on the wall showing the news; I stare up at it and sit quietly.

"Hey." A male voice says. I turn to face my left and see a man two seats over.

"Hi." I reply.

After a couple of moments without anyone talking, he stands up and walks towards me. My natural instinct would be to attack him and leave, but I remind myself that not everyone is a monster.

"I'm Mark." He introduces himself, smiling. His black hair swoops over his forehead and his white teeth show as he smiles. In his right hand he holds a small cigar, making me scrunch up my nose slightly, not liking the smell that it lets off. When I was in high school I smoked but then my dad caught me one day outside the motel room. He got so angry it was scary; he said that you can't smoke because I'm a hunger and I need to be able to run. John wasn't lying. I got grounded for a whole month. Anyway, I ignored him but then Sam caught me and told Dean and since they're my older brothers I actually listened to them.

I've never touched a cigarette since.

"Aubrey." I reply, taking another drink of my beer. I start to feel warm and dizzy from the beer, but it's more comforting than anything.

"So, what are you doing here at this time of night?" Mark sparks up the conversation.

"Getting away from my problems." I reply, laughing. "What about you?"

"Basically the same." He sighs. "You want another drink?"

"I already have a beer." I tell him.

"Yeah, well, I would like to buy you a drink." He tells me, getting the bar tender.

"Okay then." I take a large swig of my beer, finishing it off. 

He orders two shots of vodka for both of us. "Wow, you're going for it."

"Well, what can I say?" He smiles. "You seem like the type of girl who can hold your liquor."

After about five shots in, I can now say that I'm officially drunk. I take the sixth shot up and feel the burning liquid run down my throat. The bar has turned into a whirlwind of colors and random objects but I still see Mark in front of me. My words start to roll together slightly, making me laugh.

"You're really pretty, you know that?" Mark tells me, placing a hand on my knee.

"I know." I blush, feeling cocky.

"You wanna get out of here?" He asks, I shake my head and giggle.

"Let's just start this now, shall we?" I smirk, leaning forward and kiss his lips; they taste of vodka and cigar smoke. His lips follow mine, telling me that I didn't just make a stupid decision and kiss a stranger without him wanting me too.

"We're both super drunk." He pulls away, looking me in the eyes.

"Isn't that the whole point?" I reply.

He laughs; I take his hand and pull him out of the bar. We start to make out behind the building; suddenly it feels like all my problems have vanished even if it's just for a second. "You got a car or place, or something?"

"I got a car." He kisses my ear, sending chills down my spine. He leads the way to his car, an old blue mustang. Once we're inside, our bodies move against each other in motion until the morning.

*

The early morning sun shines on my face, making me open my eyes. I find myself in the backseat of a car- my shirt, shoes, jeans and jacket sprawled around. My body is covered by a blanket and besides me a man lies. I hold my head; a splitting headache ripples through me suddenly. Sighing, I look out of the steamed up window and see 'The Old Yeller' bar. Memories of last night come flooding in. I groan, sitting back on the seat and closing my eyes.

"Morning, gorgeous." The man besides me says, sitting on and placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Morning, um-" I realize that I have no idea what his name is. "Morning."

"I had fun last night." He purrs.

"Me too." I lie, hardly remembering anything. I know this event will hit me in the face in a couple of hours.

"When can I see you again?" The mystery man asks.

"Probably never." I say honestly.

At that moment I realize that I'm literally sitting in his car in my underwear. My black tee shirt hangs off the front seat; I reach other and grab it, putting it on.

"What do you mean?" He asks, startled.

"My job is, um, very busy." I explain, trying to maneuver my jeans on in this tiny space. "I move around a lot."

"But we really hit it off last night." He begs.

"I was very drunk." I emphasize the 'very'. "Look, I'm sorry Mike-"

"Mark."

"Mark!" I exclaim, hitting my knee. "That's what it was. Look, I'm sorry but this won't work out."

I pick up my leather jacket and check the pockets for my gun and my phone, both are still in there, the door opens and I climb out. My feet ache against the floor but if I put my boots on I don't think I'd be able to even stand up.

"Wait, baby!" He shouts, standing up. I turn to face him and furrow my eyebrows.

"Whoa!" I look away quickly. "Still in a public place, mate."

"Oh." He looks down and grabs the blanket, obviously still drunk like I am.

"It's been lovely knowing you." I awkwardly say, cringing. I nod my head and walk away as fast as I can. What can I say? Love hurts. The walk back to the motel was nothing short of humiliating. My feet killed after about five minutes but I couldn't call Sam or Dean because my phone battery died. Thank God it wasn't raining. I hold my shoes in my right hand and open the old door to the room with my left. I find Sam up and dressed and Dean still in bed but awake.

"Where have you been?" Dean shouts, he's probably been worried sick about me. "I've been non-stop calling for ages!"

I ignore his question and collapse on the bed, taking my shoes off and throwing them on the floor.

"I went out." I explain, my headache still causing me pain.

"You got laid." Sam speaks up.

"And wasted." Dean grumbles.

"You don't say?" I sarcastically reply. "I need water and medicine."

"Why didn't you invite me?" Dean argues.

"If I invited you I wouldn't have got laid." I tell him, Sam hands me the water and pain medicine. I take them off him without saying a word.

"What was his name?" Sam asks.

"Um." Shit, I forgot again. "Mike?"

"Mark." Another voice tells me.

"Oh yeah, Mark." I remember, gulping down the entire cup of water and the medicine. "Wait... oh god, not again."

"I see you've slept well." The annoying voice speaks.

"Piss off, Lucifer." I snap.

"So rude to me." He says, sadly. He strides over to the chair next to the bed and sits down, tapping his foot on the floor.

"Aubs, you're talking to yourself again." Dean looks around the room suspiciously.

"No, I'm not." I remind him. "I'm talking to Lucifer, remember?"

"Where is he?" Sam asks.

"I'm over here!" Lucifer shouts loudly, making me flinch. "Aubrey! Wake up!"

The hangover makes everything ten times louder, making me place my hands over my ears to stop him from giving me a headache.

"Aubrey!" Dean questions. "You okay?"

"Shut up." I whisper.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of cymbals crash together, making me jump up in shock. Where the hell did he get symbols from?

"This too loud?" He mocks, crashing them again and again.

I shut my eyes tightly closed and my hands stay pressed against my ears, attempting to block out the sound. Along with Sam and Dean's cries, my ear drums feel like they're going to explode. 

"Just shut up, all of you!" I scream, making Sam and Dean stop abruptly and Lucifer laughs, disappearing.

"Aubrey?" Dean gently says, walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"His name was Mark." I say slowly, shaking my head, not wanting to talk about what just happened. "That's all I remember. The son of a bitch thought we could have been something but I was wasted and was only looking for a hookup."

"Hey, what about-" Dean protests.

"The sex was mediocre." I interrupt, getting up and going into the bathroom.

I lock the door and start to laugh, I don't know why though. I strip off my dirty clothes and step into the shower. The warm water hits my body and I close my eyes, relaxing. Shampoo falls over my body and I feel clean again after spending a night in an old bar and in the back of some dude's Mustang.

"Come on, boys." I announce dramatically after I've had a shower and got changed into my FBI clothes.

My brothers look at me and then at each other, questions running through their minds. But I don't let them ask any as I walk out of the door, my gun in my back pocket.

We open the doors to the Impala and sit inside; Sam explains to Dean that he thinks he's found a lead so we drive to their house.

A man named Cal Garrigan, the brother of the victim Ronald Garrigan, is suspected of being a werewolf and killing his brother and his landlord. Sam, being soulless, speaks his mind, making me and Dean realize that we should leave.

The three of us decide it's better to make sure that he's actually a werewolf than killing him right there. Hours pass slowly as we follow Cal around town. I marvel at this man's energy, he's been all over the place.

"This what you were up to last night?" Sam asks me, I shake my head.

"Shut your trap." I snap.

"Okay, what's going on with you two?" Dean finally asks. "You've been acting weird all day."

"Nothing." We both reply.

"It's obviously something." I keep my eyes on Cal.

"Sammy was being a dick." I explain, folding my arms.

"What's new?" Dean replies.

"Dude!" Sam hits his arm.

"You were!" I shout.

"So we're you!" He shouts back. "At least I have a reason!"

"Piss poor reason!" I reply.

"What?" He says, surprised. "I don't have a soul, I'm pretty sure that's a good reason."

"Alright, both of you shut up!" Dean intercepts, shutting both of us up. "I've been sitting in this car for hours watching this guy get drunk and act like a douche bag, I'm not sitting here listening to you two bitching around too."

"I'm not the one bitching." Sam mutters, looking out the window.

"No!" Dean turns round and points his finger at me just as I open my mouth to talk back, knowing I was going to say something. "I'm the oldest brother and I'm telling you both to shut the hell up."

"Bossy." I slump back on the seat and sigh, my eyes falling back on Cal. "He's obviously not going to wolf out."

"Just wait." Sam insists.

"We have been, for six hours." I say.

"She's got a point, Sam." Dean nods his head. "Come on; let's head back to the motel."

"Fine." He rolls his eyes.

*

We drive back along the roads we came from; I look out at the scenery and listen to the music. Along the way, Dean gets a call on his cell from the sheriff that there's been a body reported.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it's not Cal." Dean says as we walk away from his dead body.

"Masterful deduction, Sherlock." Sam laughs.

"I mean a werewolf attack in daylight?" Dean questions. "This whole thing is just weird."

"Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria." I sigh.

"You know this means that we're down to one suspect, right?" Sam reminds us.

"I know." Dean says, I nod.

"I mean, Mandy is right at the deep end of the vic pool." Sam says. "Can you do it?"

"Do what?" I ask.

"Shove her in the trunk, serve her up to Crowley." Sam tells us like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, Sam." Dean says after a couple seconds of silence. "I can do it."

Sam nods and walks back to the car, leaving me with Dean. We look at each other and shake our heads, following Sam to the car.

*

Despite Mandy having an alibi and us being told by herself and her son that she was in her house the entire night, my brother still doesn't believe that she in innocent. Me and Dean argue with Sam and try to convince him that she's not a werewolf; he agrees that he won't bag her up yet. I head off with Dean to check out the crime scene where Cal was found dead to see if we missed anything and Sam stays watching over Mandy and her son. We arrive at the crime scene and just like I thought, we didn't miss anything. So we head back to our motel room. I open my bag and get out my comfy clothes: a plain black tank top, dark green button-down shirt, black jeans and fuzzy socks. The TV sits on the counter, calling for me to turn it on. As I do that, Dean's phone starts to ring.

"Hey." He speaks, sitting on the kitchen chair. "Well I got bumpkins here."

"Yeah, what is it?" Dean asks, I get up and sit next to him, listening in to the conversation.

"Skinwalker." Sam replies.

"A skinwalker?" I repeat, amazed. "As in-"

"As in, the family dog seriously needs a neuter." He says.

"Wow." Dean exclaims. "Haven't heard of a skinwalker in years, I'm a little rusty on the profile."

I see dad's journal on the table and start to flick through it to a page on skinwalkers.

"So what, did you catch him?" Dean questions. He nods, turning the phone off and stands up.

"Where are we going?" I ask, closing the journal.

"The pound." Dean replies.

*

We walk into a white room filled with metal cages, inside them dogs lie down. I frown at how sad and lonely they look. The white lights on the ceiling shine brightly in my eyes, making me squint for a moment.

"Hi, Lucky." Dean says, looking at the dog. He growls back. "Bad dog. First things first, see this? This is silver." He takes out the magazine body of the gun and holds it up. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Okay, time to go." Dean announces. "Now, we can either do this he easy way... or the hard way."

Sam chuckles slightly when Dean holds up a length of chain in the skinwalker's face. My older brother turns round, confused.

"What?" He asks defensively. "Soul or not, that's funny."

*

"Well, I gotta tell you, Lucky, you got us stumped." Sam tells the dog who is now a man. We tied him to a chair, wrapping him in ropes and chains. "I mean, why shack up with a family? Is it a kinky thing?"

"Do you like to play with your food?" I smirk, leaning toward.

"Roll over, Lucky." Sammy sits forward too, joining in. "Speak."

"Go to hell." He growls at us both.

"Already been, didn't agree with us." Sam snaps back, I nod. "So look, how about I take this silver knife and I start carving some dog until you behave?"

"You do what you gotta do." I look at the man, he looks afraid.

"Hang on, Sam." Dean says. "Listen, you don't have to tell me why you're with the family, I get it."

"Oh, you do?"

"You killed every threat that came near them." Dean continues. "You care about them in your own whack-a-doodle kind of way, it's obvious. What I want to know is who that guy you were kibitzing with was? He a skinwalker too?"

"Look, I can't say anything." The man gives in.

"But if you don't, then you're gonna put the girl and the little boy in danger." Dean tells him. "Sooner or later, all this crap is gonna come for them. Now, look, we don't give a rat's ass about you, we want to help them. That's our angle, that's it."

The skinwalker says silent for a few seconds but sighs, "Yeah, that guy, he's a- whatever it is I am. He's not the only one."

"How many are you?" I ask.

"About thirty." He explains. "We were all- we were kind of recruited. Me, I was living on the streets. They found me, they told me one small bite I'd be strong, I'd be fast."

"Sniffing people's butts, yeah, that's a real step up." Dean mutters, walking over to the window.

"Well, it was for me". He says sadly.

"Where is this little Scooby Gang of yours?" Dean questions.

"They're everywhere." He tells us. "We're out there finding families and once they take us in, we lay low."

"Lay low?" I question. "What does that mean?"

"Well we're waiting for the word.

"What word?" I ask.

"Once we're settled, we get the signal and we all turn on our families." I raise my eyes brows at his remark. "We change them all in one night; thirty becomes one hundred and fifty."

"God, you're a sleeper cell." Dean whispers, staring at the man.

"So you're waiting for your word from who?" Sam questions.

"There's a pack leader." He says.

"Your Alpha?" Sam questions, suddenly interested

"What's that?"

"The first skinwalker, the strongest." Sam explains.

"Well, he's plenty strong but no, I don't think so." The man tells him. "I'm pretty sure there are guys like him in other towns, we're not the only pack out there."

"Fantastic." Dean stands up. "Then you can help us stop him."

"Oh, no." He shakes his head. "I can't, no. You guys don't get it, no one can. These guys who tuned me are ruthless."

All of a sudden a head Sam start to whistle, I look at him and see him moving the ball around in the air. He stares are Lucky for a second and then throws the ball, making me laugh slightly.

"Sam, not helping." Dean sighs.

"Fetch this dick." The skinwalker gravely replies, making Sam look at him with an offended look on his face.

"Listen to me, what are you going to do to that family, really?" Dean asks, kneeling down. "You gonna put your jaws around that little boys throat and clamp down? Listen to him crying for his mum?"

"I'm gonna guess that these are the only people who in your pathetic life have ever showed you any kindness." Dean continues, getting under Lucky's skin.

"It's either that or you can help us stop it." I tell him, folding my arms. He gives him, agreeing to help us to keep the family safe. We untie the man and he leads us to the base.

*

We park the impala under a bridge, get out stuff and head to the location of the building. We find the warehouse that they are in and make camp on top of a wear by warehouse. After a while, a black car finally pulls up.

"Here we go." I say, getting into position next to my brothers.

"The driver, that's the guy Lucky met in the park." Sam tells us, pointing at him.

"And there's el jefe." Dean replies.

"Take him out." I tell him.

"It's not clean." He looks through the telescope on the gun. "And we got one shot at this, literally."

The men continue to talk to each other; I grab the binoculars from Sam and look down at them. He protests and snatches them back off me, I roll my eyes.

Suddenly, a black man leads Mandy and her son out of the car. Me and my brother see her, watching the scene carefully.

"Take the shot." Sam tells Dean.

"I'm trying." He replies. "She's in the way."

"Take it anyway." Sam protests; I smack him on the arm. The gun follows the man, just missing him. We sigh in defeat as the warehouse doors close. "So plan B?"

"We've got one?" I ask. Sam and Dean look at each other with a knowing look. "We've got one."

*

A loud scream ripples through the warehouse and Sam and I shoot the men dead. I see Mandy cover her and her son behind a metal crate as bullets fly everywhere. Every man is down except one. I feel Sam tug on my sleeve and I follow him to a back room. The last skinwalker dodges the bullets we fire at him, eventually hiding behind a cage. We slowly creep towards him, only to find a pile of clothes where he once stood. I sigh, standing back to back with Sam to protect us. 

After walking around the quiet room the growl of a dog erupts from in front of me. Running towards us is a skinny black dog; I don't hesitate to shoot it in the head. It whimpers one last time and collapses on the floor. The dog turns back into a man, a bullet whole shot through his chest. Together, we run back to the main area and see Lucky lying on the floor. We follow the pathway through the boxes and find Mandy behind a locked door, looking scared to death.

*

"I'll never look at a dog the same." Dean comments as we walk through the sunny park. "Makes you wonder though, huh?"

"What?" Sam asks. I sit down on the bench and quickly grab the bag of food that Dean placed down, my stomach rumbling in the process.

"How many packs are out there?" Dean continues, taking out the food as well. "What if they're all just waiting for the signal, you know?"

"So I was thinking, you were both right." Sam begins; I look up from my food. "I'm not your brother, I'm not Sam."

"Okay." I say.

"All that 'blah, blah, blah' about being the old me?" He looks at me. "Crap. Like Lisa and Ben, right? I've been acting like I care about them. But I don't, I couldn't care less."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Dean grumbles.

"You wanted the real me, this is it." Sam tells us. "I don't care about them just like I don't care that Lucifer used my face to taunt Aubrey in hell. I don't even really care about you two, except that I need your help. You're clearly not gonna stick around for much longer unless I give it to you straight."

"I've done a lot worse that you know, I've killed innocent people in the line of duty." I look down at the table as Sam continues to speak. "But I'm pretty sure it's not something the old me could have done. Maybe I should feel guilty, but I don't."

"Sam, get to the punch line." Dean insists.

"Look, I don't know if how I am is better or worse." He begins. "You get the job done and nothing really hurts, that's not the worst thing. But I've been thinking, I was that other Sam for a long time and it was... it was kinda harder. There were also things I remember about it that were uh..."

He pauses.

"Let's just say, I think I should probably go back to being him." He finishes.

"That's very interesting." Dean tilts his head down.

"It's a step." I speak up.

"So?" Sam questions.

"We do what we gotta do and we get our brother back." Dean replies. I sit, staring out at the lake and wonder how long that will take and how much we will have to sacrifice to make that happen. The water laps over the bank and leaves fall from the trees as a soft gust of wind flies past us, my hair blowing with it. We sit in silence as the world moves around us.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, out of pure anger and rage, I shoot two bullets at the Devil. Before they bit him though, he vanishes. Instead, the hit Dean and Cas in the stomach, making them fall onto the floor, blood spilling out everywhere. I fall to my knees as I see their bodies lie lifeless on the ground. Crawling over to them, the blood soaks my hands and clothes, making me shiver and weep into their lifeless selves.

"No, man. I'm done." Dean complains as we arrive at our motel room.

"Calm down." Sam tells him.

"We're been going on these freaking Crowley runs and it's not getting us anywhere." Dean explains. I have to agree with him on this.

"Dean-"

"I mean, the only thing that's really changed is now I need a daily rape shower." He says.

"Dean's right, Sam." I tell him, leaning against a chair.

"Okay, you're both right." He sighs. "Let's go with plan B. Oh yeah, we don't have one, so until we do, sorry, dude, stock up on soap on a rope."

Dean looks down to the floor and starts to laugh.

"Dean, if you want to get my soul back, that's what we've got to do, okay?" Sam argues.

"Yeah." My oldest brother mutters. "You even want it back?"

"I'm working for Crowley, aren't I?" Sam sasses.

"Who says he's going to hold up his end, you know?" I realize, sighing. "It is Crowley."

"You ever think of that?" Dean questions, pouring himself some alcohol, I do the same thing. When we turn round Sam is nowhere to be found. "So I guess the moment's over, is that what you're saying?"

He gets no reply.

"Sam?" I shout. Dean taps my arm and picks up the gun, I follow his lead. We turn to corner and I see Sam lying on the ground. All of a sudden, I feel a painful blow on the back of my head, sending me to the floor.

*

I open my eyes and find myself in a dark room, tied to a chair. My brothers sit in front of me.

"What do we do now?" I ask.

"I think I know who you can ask." Sam replies, I turn my head and look at the door.

"Evil bitch." I grumble, dropping my head to the floor.

"Keep sweet-talking me; this could go in a whole new direction." The demon replies, speaking into my ear.

"Meg, I've been dying to see you again." I sass, laughing slightly.

"Well here I am, sweetheart." She faces me. "So what should we do now?"

"How about I rip you to shreds?" I suggest.

"Kinky, I like." She smirks, I smirk back. "I know you do too. But a little Q&A first, if you don't mind, where's your boss?"

Dean scoffs, Meg turns to him. "You think we work for somebody?"

"I happen to know for a fact you've been juggling Crowley's orphans." She tells him. "Now, where is he?"

"Don't know, don't care." Sam speaks.

"But you've been working his beat for months." She replies.

"Doesn't mean we get face time." I say, the five of us look between each other. Another random demon, the one who knocked us out I presume, stands to the side in the corner.

Meg looks and me and walks forward, I roll my eyes as she sits down on my lap, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Where does he take all those things you snatch up for him? I bet you an all-day sucker that's where His Majesty's holed up."

I stare back at her, not saying anything.

"Okay, officially over the foreplay." She sighs, holding a knife to my throat. "Satisfy me or I please myself."

Sam bursts out laughing, Dean and I look at him in anger.

"Something funny, Sam?" Dean says between gritted teeth.

"Yeah." He replies. "Meg."

"Really, because from where Aubrey's sitting-"

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't mind me." I sarcastically reply.

"Don't worry, she can't do Jack squat." Sam reassured us. "She's totally screwed."

"Sam, not helping." Dean complains.

"She will be when I'm done with her." I mutter, blowing a piece of hair out of my face.

"Buy me a drink first." Meg coos. "Then I'll think about it."

"Look at her, Dean." Sam tells him. "She's furious. If she could kill Aubrey she'd have done it by now. She's running."

"I'm just too irresistible." I say.

Meg looks at me and takes the knife away, raising her eyebrows. "Am I?"

"Judging by the level of flop sweat on all of you, yeah." Sam replies, Meg stands up. "This means you're running from Crowley, which makes sense. Crowley would want to hunt down Lucifer loyalists now that he's the big man on campus."

"How would you know?" The demon asks.

"It's what I'd do." Sam tells her. "She can't kill us. She needs us to get her to Crowley so she can stick that knife in his neck. It's him or her."

"Well, I hope you both loose." Dean says.

"So you know what you gotta do now, right?" Sam asks her.

"Let me guess, you're going to tell me." She slyly says back.

"Work with us."

"Whoa, what?" I ask.

"We'll hand you Crowley with a bow on one condition." Sam bargains. "We go with you and you help us wring something out of him before you hack him to bits."

"What?" She questions.

"Doesn't matter." Sam snaps. "Question is, can you get us what we need?"

"I apprenticed under Alistair in hell just like your brother." Meg explains. "So, Dean, can I make Crowley do whatever I want?"

"Yeah, she can." Dean says after a moment.

"It's a deal then." She smiles, nodding at us. "Gifts and puppies all around."

"You gonna untie us?" I ask.

"Please, don't pretend you don't enjoy it." She winks at me and struts to the door, the other demon observing us.

"You gonna kiss me?" Dean asks the demon.

"Come on." Meg calls him, walking away.

*

We eventually unite ourselves from the ropes and leave the building as fast as we can. The three of us decide that we need Castiel's help but since he's fighting a battle in Heaven then there's a very slim chance he will actually answer our prayer.

Eventually, Sam decided to trick the angel by telling him the plot of Raiders. Castiel being Castiel, believes Sam.

"You actually showed." Dean exclaims, genuinely surprised. "Wow, Sam, I owe you a chicken dinner."

"I don't." I hold my finger up as I sit on the chair, my feet resting on the table. "What happened?"

"No big, this is what friends do for each other." Sam says, shrugging.

Castiel stares between Sam and Dean, a confused and partially annoyed look on his face. I laugh quietly at the angel. After, the four of us set up a couple of candles and begin to summon our old friend Crowley.

"It's not working." Cas says as the fire begins to sizzle. "Crowley's hidden from me."

"Well, looks like we're going to have to try this the hard way." Dean tells us, looking at Cas.

Together, we scrounge a round Samuel's warehouse that we snuck into, looking through old maps and books. Suddenly, the old lights turn on and Samuel the walls into the room. The old man stops, "What do you want?"

"We wanna know where Crowley is." Dean tells him.

"If I even knew, why would I tell you?" He asks.

"Because you're our grandfather." Dean replies.

"Samuel, I'm going to get my soul back." Sam exclaims.

"Who says you can get it back?" Samuel asks his grandson.

"Me."

"I'd like to hell but I'm sorry-"He begins.

"It's your grandson's soul!" I protest.

"I can't."

"What is wrong with you?" Dean angrily asks. "You want to work for Crowley?"

When our grandfather doesn't reply, I turn to Cas and speak. "Cas, can you give us a minute?"

The angel disappears, leaving the four of us alone. Dean walks up to Samuel and then talks, Sam and I watch closely.

"We're your blood." Dean begins. "If you don't want to help us I can't make you but I just got to know why. What is Crowley holding over you? You owe us that."

The man pauses, a glint of sadness falls into his eyes, then we takes out a photo of a beautiful woman from the draw and shows it to us. On the old photo is our mother when she was about my age.

"Mom?" Dean questions.

"He's going to give her back to me." Samuel explains.

"Crowley's going to bring mum back from the dead?" Dean asks, confused.

"You tell me you don't want her back." He defends himself.

'I've wanted her back since the day I realized that she's never coming back.' I think to myself.

"You know the one difference between us?" Samuel asks the three of us. "You know how to live without her."

"Look, I know how you feel." Dean tells him.

"No, you don't." He cries. "She's my daughter and she's dead and I can do something about it."

"You really think Crowley's going to make good here?" Dean questions.

"He brought Sam back." He shouts. "And me."

"Trust me, don't go down that road." Dean warns.

"What are you saying?" Our grandfather asks.

"We're saying stop trying." I explain. "It's going to go nowhere good."

"Samuel, I know we've had our differences but I'm your grandson." Dean tells him. "I'm telling you that this is wrong for so many reasons."

"You hypocrite." He spits.

"I'm asking you to learn from our mistake!" Dean shouts. "Doing this, this is how the bag guy gets us every time. It's our Achilles heel. It got me when Sam died, it got Sam when I died and it got Aubrey when her girlfriend died. Apparently it runs in the family."

I wince at the mention of my ex girlfriend I had so many years ago, I haven't mentioned her for about 4 years. It's hard to but whenever I do I feel like I'm never going to be okay again.

Ever since that terrible night with Azazel, ever since I saw her burning body on the ceiling of our apartment, I knew that my life was never going back to the way it was. That was the night that Sam and Dean picked me up in Baby and we sailed off on what has now been a six year- ongoing journey.

"We will figure something out, okay?" Dean tells him.

"I'm sorry, Dean, but-"

"Fine." My older brother sighs. "Fine, you bring her back but what are you going to tell her, huh? You going to tell her you make a deal with a demon? That you wouldn't help out her kids?"

"All right, that's enough!" Samuel shouts. "Just get out."

I take a last look at the man and close the door behind me, following my brothers to the car and we drive back to the motel room where Cas is waiting for us.

*

Besides me, Cas sits on the sofa watching something on TV and Sam and Dean sit at the table reading through law. I flip through the pages of my book and instead of reading through mythology law, I read about a boy called Charlie.

'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' was one of my all time favorite books through high school, it still is. I read it every time me and Sam got left on our own when Dean and Dad went on a hunt. We both read the book and had lengthy discussions about it for hours on how amazing the writing is and how important it is to learn about the subjects that are presented in the book.

When Sammy left for Stanford I stopped reading it for a while, it made me sad but ever since we were in the road it's come to back to me slowly, making me fall in love with the story all over again.

"It's very complex." Castiel mutters, sending my train of thought back to the station.

Dean agrees, not looking up from his book. Sam ignores him completely and I look at Castiel with a questionable look.

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter then why does he keep slapping her rear?"Cas asks, watching the TV intently.

The boy's heads shoot up suddenly at the mention of a pizza man and a babysitter; however they look more horrified than I do, I have an amused smile on mine. "Perhaps she's done something wrong."

"You're watching porn?" Sam asks, sounding slightly worried.

"Why?" Dean quickly asks, looking back down at the table. I cover my face with my book, trying my best not to burst out laughing.

"It was there." Castiel answers honestly.

"You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes." Dean tells him.

"Hey, don't forget me!" I shout, biting down on my lip to not cackle like a witch.

"And you don't talk about it." Dean continues. "Turn it off."

I watch Castiel look down at his crotch and cover my head with an old sofa cushion, my legs coming into my chest in an 'I'm trying so hard not to laugh' motion.

"Oh, now he's got a boner." Dean sighs, telling Sam, who is trying his very best to ignore everything and everyone.

A knock rings through the small room; Dean grabs his gun and walk to the door.

"Have you ever thought about being the babysitter, Aubrey?" Castiel asks innocently.

"I've thought about being the babysitter," I reply, making Sam heavily sigh. Castiel turn to face me and tilts his head. "And the pizza man. Both different scenarios, obviously."

"Like if I was the pizza man and you were the babysitter?" Castiel questions, I finally let out my loud laugh, making Sam and Dean hush me.

"Slow down there, Cas." I calm my breathing. "Buy me a drink first then I'll think about it."

I raise my eyebrows and stand up, gently touching Cas's lip with my thumb, making him open his mouth, as I walk past. He looks me in the eye and blushes a deep crimson, making me smile seductively at him.

"Hey!" Dean warns, just as our grandfather walks in. "Enough you two."

"This what you boys do?" He asks. "Sit around watching pornos with angels?"

"We're not supposed to talk about it." Cas tells him, I nod along in agreement.

"Why are you here, Samuel?" Dean asks. Sam switches off the TV, much to Castiel's dismay. I smile at him as he stares at the blank screen, the confused expression never leaving his face.

"It's what Mary would want." He tells us. "Now this is what we know, whatever we bag ends up there. That's where he tortures them, I don't know. Only been outside the place, but it's a death trap. Nothing gets in that Crowley doesn't want in and nothing gets out, period."

"Well, thanks." Dean says.

"I wish you wouldn't do this." Samuel tells the truth.

"Come with us." Sam suggests just as he starts to walk out.

"I may be soft but I'm not suicidal." He replies, then walks out of the door.

*

We meet up with Meg and three over demons, one who Sam kills with Ruby's knife that Meg stole from us. After I collect it weapons together and sits against the wall to the main living area of the motel room. Inside, Cas and Dean talk about how Sam might be safer without his soul back. I listen in closely, hearing my name slip out.

"Dean, it's not just Sam who's in danger here." Cas says.

"Aubrey?" Dean asks.

"She has Lucifer in her head, what she is going through is literal and physical hell." Cas explains to Dean, I silently nod along.

"Checking off all the boxes that fit, are you?" Lucifer says, sitting in front of me.

I sigh, looking back down at my gun and drown his voice out.

"You can't ignore me forever, Aubrey." He mocks. "I'll be here, in your head, for the rest of your sad, pathetic life and you or your brothers or your little angel boyfriend won't be able to do anything about it."

A warm sensation prickles at my arm and a distance sound of screams sound through my ears. The floor around me glows with burning fire that dances around my arms and legs.

"You're not real." I whisper.

"Aubrey, this isn't you going guano, everything else is." He says, pointing around him. "Everything from the second you sprung out of that lockbox."

"That's impossible." I say.

"Escaping was impossible." He replies.

"But I survived." I realize.

"No, you're still in the cage with me." Lucifer slyly says. I shake my head in response, tears prickling at my eyelids. "You can't leave with place, Aubrey."

"Yes, I can." I whisper, putting my head in my hands. The heat from the fire makes my skin itch. "I have left, Cas saved me. He saved me."

"Castiel is a figment on your memory!" Lucifer shouts, making me jump. "He's not here with you, he won't save you! Neither will Sam and Dean, they've already forgotten about you, Aubrey. You're nothing to them."

"That's not true." I cry into my hands, feeling a wave of anger hit me. I load the gun that's in my hand and shoot at Lucifer. "That's not true!"

"Come on, Aubrey." He temps, disappearing as I shoot the bullet and reappearing next to me. I look the other way, the temperature of hell fire not affecting me anymore. "Say it with me now."

"You won't hurt them." I gravely say, narrowing my eyebrows and holding my fists in a ball. "You won't hurt my boys."

"Good morning, Vietnam!" Is his final shout. Dean and Cas come running into the hallway at the sound of my scream; Lucifer looks up at them and smiles evilly.

Again, out of pure anger and rage, I shoot two bullets at the Devil. Before they bit him though, he vanishes. Instead, the hit Dean and Cas in the stomach, making them fall onto the floor, blood spilling out everywhere. I fall to my knees as I see their bodies lie lifeless on the ground. Crawling over to them, the blood soaks my hands and clothes, making me shiver and weep into their lifeless selves.

*

The ringing in my ears has finally stopped. I sit on the bed, staring at the wooden floor. A blanket gets wrapped round my shoulders but I shrug it off and throw it across the room, much to Cas's protest.

"Aubrey." He sighs, picking it up.

"Cas." I mimic back.

The angel places the blanket on the sofa and walks towards me, sitting down. I ignore his gaze when I see him looking at me.

"Stop looking at me like I'm some wounded animal." I complain.

"I don't think you're a wounded animal." He replies.

"Really, Cas?" I ask. "Because that's what Sam and Dean think, hell, Sam doesn't even care about me."

"Calm down." He pleads. "Aubrey, you need to relax."

"I do, do I?" I shout. "Don't tell me to fucking relax, Castiel; I have the freaking devil playing mind games with me."

I shake my head and stomp out of the room and into the cold night. Sam and Dean are still inside with the weapons so I climb on top to the hood of the Impala and sit on the roof, looking up at the dark sky.

"Heads up!" Dean shouts, walking out of the motel. Turning round, I slide off the car and open the door to the backseat. The boys follow me, getting in the front and I presume that Cas is flying.

"Hey, are-"Sam, surprisingly, begins; turning round to face me.

"No." I snap, shutting him up, making it very clear that I don't want to speak. They both sigh and the car starts.

*

"Seems pretty quiet." Dean points out as we stand outside a massive building which I'm guessing is a prison.

"It's not, I can feel it." Cas says. "Meet me at the side door."

The group of is walk down to the large building, watching our guard, until we make it to the side door where Cas said to meet him. To our surprise, we see him on the other side.

"This all seem a little too easy to you?" Dean asks.

"Way too easy." Sam agrees, walking in.

The halls are dark; the only light is from the moon which doesn't help a lot. On the floor is what looks like mossy vines, snaking around our feet. I pinch my nose at the smell, it reeks of death. I shine my torch into one of the cells and get greeted by a dead body lying on the ground. On the cell next to us a vamp jumps out, it's face visible in the small glass window.

"Is someone there?" A female voice asks. "Please, please help me."

I look over to my left and see a woman in chains, her black hair is matted and dirty, her clothes torn. On her arm is a sleeve tattoo.

"You've got to get me out of here." She pleads.

"Come on, Dean." Sam speaks, tapping him on the shoulder. "We gotta move."

I keep my head down as I walk past the woman, knowing that she's a monster but still feeling slightly sorry for her. She doesn't shout as we walk away.

"Wait." Cas tells us, as we turn the corner.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"Damn it." Meg mutters. "Here come the guards."

"Hellhounds." Dean realizes, I hear the menacing growls of the invisible dogs down the corridor. "Go!"

We sprint down the rest of the way and through the doors at the end; the two demons that came with Meg get caught by the hellhounds. I press my body against the doors to stop them from getting us; Dean then pushes a bat between the handles, blocking them out. Sam throws the salt down onto the ground surrounding the door and I watch a blood stain splatters over the window.

"I knew this was a trap." Dean growls at Meg.

"What do you want, a cupcake?" She hisses back.

"Alright, that should keep them out." Sam says.

"Not for long." I point out. "How many are there?"

"Lots." Meg tells me. "I'll be pulling for you, from Cleveland."

"What?" I ask her.

"I didn't know this was gonna happen." She explains. "Bright side? Them chewing up my meat suit ought to buy you a few seconds. Seacrest out."

She opens her mouth to her expel her demon form, however nothing happens.

"It's a spell, I think." Cas says. "From Crowley. Within these walls you're locked inside your body."

"Karma's a bitch, bitch." Dean tells her as Sam pulls out Ruby's knife. "What are you going to do, you gonna slash thin air until you hit something?"

"You can see them, take this and hold them off." Sam hands Meg the knife. "It's our best shot."

"At Crowley." She says. "Take it and go. You kill the dick, I'll hold off the dogs."

"Well, how are you gonna do that-"

I get cut off as I feel the demon's lips against mine. In shock, I don't pull away, instead a kiss back. Her arm slides under my jacket and snakes around my waste. When Meg pulls away, I stare into her eyes and again our lips collide. This time, I move her body around and push her against the wall, moving my hands through her hair. Meg's arms hang around my neck and fall down to my chest.

"What was that?" Dean growls at a scarily low level.

"She learnt that from the pizza man." Cas says, I smile and shake my head. Meg bites her lip and smirks at me.

"Well, that was A-plus work." She tells me.

"It's always A-plus work from me." I say back, folding my arms.

Meg stifles out a laugh and composes herself, "Okay, gotta go."

"Wait, is that gonna work on a hellhound?" Dean asks her.

"Well, we're about to find out." We look at each other again. "Run."

"We should do it again sometime." I smile.

"If we get out alive." Meg says, smiling slightly. Then, the four of us run to away from the doors, leaving the demon alone.

*

The four of us continue down the hallway, running down a flight of dimly lit stairs when suddenly a bright light erupts. Where Cas was once standing is now empty.

"Cas?" Dean and I shout.

"Guys." Sam says, pointing to the bottom of the staircase.

"Samuel." I growl.

"Go get 'em, boys." The old man tells three demons standing by the side of him. The three of us get our knives ready to fight them; I slash at the man and cut his arm. But the demon bitch still manages to have a grip on me.

The boys and I get lead into another musty hallway filled with cages, similar to the ones we saw before but with huge metal doors. The demon leads me down to the end on and pushes me in, I huff and keep away from the dirt covered walls.

My shoes squelch in the rubbish that's on the floor, at further glance I see that's it's sick. That's disgusting.

"I'm standing in pee." Dean comments.

"Is it your own?" I snarl.

"Shut up." He replies.

"Consider yourself lucky." Sam relies, making me gag. A few minutes have passed when I hear the sound of one of the doors opening. Dean's angry voice sounds in the darkness, making me run up to the door and listen.

!Dean!" I shout, banging on the door. "You assholes, let me out!"

The corridor goes silent, leaving me and Sam. "You okay, Sam?"

My brother doesn't reply to me, so I shout again. Still no reply. Suddenly, the door to the cell opens, revealing a bloody-faced Sam. He smiles at me and beckons me to follow him.

"Dude, you're teeth." I say.

"It's nothing." He replies.

Together, we make our way to the room where Dean is being kept. When we bash the door down I see him wrestling some monster. I step in and take over, punching the sucker in the face. Then Sam swings a pipe at him and stabs it through the chest. The one left lies on the floor, being taken out by Dean.

"Where's Meg?" I ask.

"Come on." Dean says.

After searching around the old prison, we eventually find the demon tied to a metal chair, cuts over her body. When she's set free, the four of us look between each other and mentally decide to get the hell out of here. But before this, Crowley makes a quick visit.

"To what do I owe the reach around?" The demon asks, standing in the Devil's trap.

"Crowley." Meg speaks up, walking out from behind the wall.

"Whore." He says back.

"Okay, you know what?" She asks, Crowley suddenly starts to cough up blood. "The best torture is the one where you get your hands dirty. Sam wants a word with you."

"What do you want from me, Sam?" Crowley looks at him.

"You know what I want, I want my soul back." Sam tells him.

"And here I thought you just grew some balls, Sam." Meg says to him, Sam giving her a dirty look back.

"Well?" He asks Crowley.

"No."

"Meg?" Dean speaks. Meg once again makes Crowley cough up blood, sending him onto the floor.

"I can't." He admits.

"Can't or won't?" Sam shouts.

"I said can't and I meant can't, you mop-headed lumberjack." Crowley tells us.

"How do you know you're not lying?" I ask him.

"You don't. But it doesn't change anything." He tells me. "I'm telling you. Sam, why do you want the thing back? Satan's got one juicy source of entertainment in there, just like what he's got with your sister. I'd swallow a rag of bathtub floor before I took the soul, unless you want to be a drooling mess."

"Sam, I hate to say it but he's right." I say quietly.

"He's got a point." Meg agrees with me.

"Yeah, I get it." He doesn't look at me. "He's all yours."

"Are you crazy?" Dean questions. "He's out only hope."

"Dean, haven't you heard him?" Sam tells him. "He can't get it, he's useless."

Dean sighs, handing the demon knife over to Meg. She slowly walks up to Crowley, stopping in front and turning back towards us. "You'll let me back out right?"

"Course." I reply, nodding my head.

"This is for Lucifer you pompous little-"She gets interrupted by Crowley knocking her off her feet. He stands up, regaining his posture. He takes the knife and throws it at the ceiling, breaking the devils trap. Suddenly, I get flung against the wall with Sam and Dean.

"Leave them alone." A deep male voice says. In front of us stands Cas.

"Castiel, haven't seen you all season." Crowley tells him, I roll my eyes. "You the cavalry now?"

"Put the knife down." He orders.

"You that bossy in heaven?" Crowley asks, not moving the knife from Meg's face. "Here you're losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby."

I look at Cas and see he's carrying a sack, Crowley notices too and asks what's inside. The angel takes out a skull and holds it up.

"You are." He sasses. "You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have."

"Cookie for you."

"Can you restore Sam's soul or not?" Cas asks. I feel my body falling to the ground after Crowley snaps his fingers.

"If I can help out in any other-"

"Answer him." Dean shouts.

After a hesitant moment, he speaks. "I can't."

The bag of bones goes up in flames, making Crowley do the same thing. All that's left of him is a pile of black ashes and the knife.

"Well she's smart, I give her that." Dean admits after Meg disappears. "I was going to kill her too."

"Give me an hour with her?" I ask him.

"No." He glares at me, I laugh at him.

*

It's now daylight and the four of us stands around Baby. I look between Cas and Dean as they talk about the war in heaven and Sam's soul.

"He's right you know." Sam tells us, once Cas has gone.

"About what?" Dean asks Sam.

!My soul." He replies. "I'm not getting it back."

"We don't know that for sure." I say.

"When angels and demons agree on something, call me nuts, I pay attention." Sam explains.

"You say this now?" Dean asks. "After we practically died trying to-"

"Exactly. I mean, how many times do we risk our asses for this? Have you seen Aubrey, how she's been acting with her soul intact after being in the cage."

"She's fine." Dean grumbles.

"I'm barely keeping it together on a good day." I tell him.

"See?" Sam makes a point. "I don't think I want it back."

"You two don't even know what you're saying." Dean tells us.

"No, I'm saying something you don't like." Sam says. "I think I'm maybe better off without it."

"You're wrong." Dean argues. "You don't know how wrong you are."

"I'm not sure about that." Sam replies, turning round and walking away.

"Sam, don't walk away." I shout. "Sam!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ll never have me.” I tell him, swinging at him but he disappears and reappears in another place. “I won’t let it happen, you son of a bitch.”
> 
> “That’s what they all say.” Lucifer picks up the hallucinations book and turns to a random page. “Let’s see, ‘after a while, everyone gives into their mind.’”
> 
> “It doesn’t say that.” I tell him. “You’re lying.”
> 
> “I might be, but it’s getting to your head.” He laughs. “Watch out, Aubrey, before it kills someone.”

I sit on the edge of the bed, my head resting in my hands. Sam got his soul back two days ago; he’s lying unconscious in the panic room. I heard Castiel and Dean talking a while ago, and then they went to see Sam. Looking up at the ceiling and take a deep breath and walk to the wardrobe. The soft cotton feels smooth against my touch; I place the shirt over my head and then pick out a comfortable pair of jeans. A red flannel shirt catches me eye, a Winchester doesn’t go anywhere without their flannel. My black boots sit untouched on the floor, along with my jacket which I screwed up messily when I got back to Bobby’s.

“You can see him now.” I hear Cas say behind me. 

“He’s awake?” I ask, not facing my friend.

“He will be.” Then the sound of wings fluttering away, meaning that he’s left. 

I sigh, tying up my boots and brushing out my hair. I look in the mirror that hangs on the wall, I look exhausted. My hair is still ratted into its strawberry blonde mess and the bags under my eyes stand out on my unusually pale skin. I touch my lips and feel them cracked and dry; my eyes stay half open from lack of sleep. Slowly, I turn away from the mirror and walk to the landing outside the room. The stairs creek as I walk down them, I hear Bobby and Dean talking in the living room. Bobby sits at his desk and Dean occupies the sofa. He smiles at me when I walk in and I tell him to move over. When I sit down I put my feet up on the table, resting my eyes. 

“What’s happening?” I ask.

“Found a case.” Dean replies.

“Dean.” Another voice says, making me open my eyes.

“Sam?” Dean questions, standing up.

“Sammy?” I smile up at my brother. The two embrace, then he walks over to Bobby. The man seems almost frightened- or cautious- of Sam, and then I remember that Sam did try to kill Bobby a couple of days ago. Finally, he turns towards me and we hug. I grab his shoulder and smile.

“It’s good to have you back.” I say.

“Wait- I saw, I saw Lucifer snap your neck.” Sam says, pointing to Bobby.

“Well, Cas kind of-“Bobby starts.

“Wait, Cas is alive?” Sam asks, shocked.

“Yeah, Cas is fine.” Dean tells him, walking to Sam. “Sam, are you okay?”

“Actually, um, I’m starving.” He sighs, I nod in agreement. 

“Amen to that.” I mutter. 

The four of us sit round the table, Sam and I eat our sandwiches as Bobby and Dean try and wrap their heads around the Sam situation. Honestly, I’m stumped too.

“So, Sam.” Dean begins slowly. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“The field, then me and Aubrey fell.” He explains.

“Okay, and then?” Continues Dean.

“I woke up in the panic room.” He replies. 

“That’s it?” Bobby questions. “You really don’t remember-“

“Let’s be glad.” I speak up, reminding Bobby that if Sam remembers anything from the time he was soulless, he could go wacko like me. “Who wants to remember all that hell?”

“Well, how long was I gone?” Sam asks me. 

“About a year and a half.” Dean answers for me. 

“What?” Sam says. “I was downstairs for a year and a half? I don’t remember anything... So how did I get back, how did Aubrey get back? Was it Cas?”

“Cas managed to rescue Aubrey.” Dean explains. “You, not exactly the case.”

“Dean, what did you do?” Sam snaps.

“Me and death-“

“Death?” Sam questions. “The horseman?”

“I had leverage.” Dean defends himself. “It’s done.”

“You sure?” Sam asks.

“It’s over.” Dean confirms, making me raise my eyebrows. “Slates wiped.”

“Not exactly-“ I begin, earning a glare from Dean.

“Isn’t this just neat and clean?” Bobby sarcastically says.

“Yes it is, for once.” Dean looks between the two of us. 

“Is there anything else I should know?” Sam cautiously asks.

“No.” Dean replies, I stand up and walk into the kitchen. That son of a bitch won’t let me say anything. I know it could make Sam’s memories of the cage come back but he’s going to find out some way.

“He’s gonna find out, you know?” I say, when I see Dean walk into the kitchen with me. “One way or another, something will trigger it.”

“That’s why you’re not going to say anything.” He tells me. “Not even about the Lucifer situation.”

“You’re a jerk.” I hiss. “You think it’s going to be easy hiding this? Dean, he’s in my head. There’s no way to get him out, Lucifer is stuck in there. Sam, he’s gonna find out. And he’s not going to be happy when I tell him I was keeping it from him.”

“But if he knows then he could get worse.” Dean argues.

“I know, I know that.” I sigh. “I don’t want him going through what I’m going through, but still.”

“Aubrey, just stop!” Dean shouts, hitting his hand on the counter. 

“Careful,” I mutter. “You’re acting like dad.”

“Don’t you dare say that to me.” He growls.

“Then stop being such an ass.” I reply. “Dean, I’ve been trying to get through this, to ignore this. I’ve been doing it for months but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I don’t know if I can do it any longer.”

My oldest brother looks at me and softly shakes his head, looking down at the floor and chuckling. 

“We’ve been through some messed up crap.” He mutters, I edge closer to him. “This doesn’t seem real does it?”

“Maybe not to other people but to us, it’s our lives.” I reply. “You know that.”

“Yeah, but do you ever just want out?” Dean looks at me.

“Maybe.” I say after a while, Dean leans against the counter and I stand next to him. “It’s not really my luck, though, is it?”

“I had it for a while, why can’t you?” He questions.

“I don’t have a good answer for that.” I sigh.

“Free will.” Dean says. “We have free will.”

“I hope so.” I nod. “At least we got Sam back.”

“At least we got Sam back.” Dean nods, smiling “Don’t you go running away on me either.”

“Where did that thought come from?” I ask him.”

“Just don’t, we’re gonna get through this.” He tells me. “You, me, Cas, Sam and Bobby. We’re gonna save you and we’re gonna save the world.”

“I don’t need saving, Dean.” I laugh. “I can kick your ass.”

“Only just.” Dean rolls his eyes. “I’m serious; it’s going to be over soon. You’re going to be back to your normal, anti-Lucifer self.”

“I hope you and Cas are correct.” I bite my lip and tug at the hem of my shirt. “I need the reassurance.”

The air suddenly becomes tense; I shift away from Dean and through the door. Sam and Bobby watch as I walk past them but they don’t try to stop me. I hear the three of their muffled voices talk between themselves as I walk up the stairs and head into my bedroom.

On my bedside table are three books: ‘An Introduction to Biblical Law’ by William S. Morrow, ‘Hallucinations’ by Oliver Sacks and finally ‘Pure Political Philosophy’ by Michael DeVinney. For most of my free time I’ve been reading up on hallucination ‘law’, or whatever you want to call it, to try and find out how to control these visions. My brothers have tried to help me, so has Cas, but they can’t do anything about it. Only I can. It’s starting to drive me fucking crazy.

The bed creaks as I sit down on it and flip through the top book on the pile, but I don’t find anything interesting. I look around the old room that’s been here probably for as long as I have. The wallpaper has aged and become colorless, but still manages to cling onto the walls of the room like a child who clings into their mother and the carpet has specks of dirt in it from my boots but apart from that it’s spotless. I remember Bobby telling me that this was his wife’s room, this was before she died. He told me she used to come in here and sew; now it’s used for storage or for guests. As I lie down on the bed I picture what our lives would look like if there were no monsters, no angels, and no demons, just us living a normal apple pie life. 

*

“Aubrey, get your ass here!” I hear a thick Texan accent ring through the apartment. The walls are covered in beautiful blue paint, a picture of me next to the Statue of Liberty hangs on the wall, and I tilt my head and stare in confusion at it. When was that taken? 

“Did you hear me?” The girl says again, I feel like I should know her. “I said get your ass here, lady.”

“I’m coming.” I shout back.

My hand moves slowly against the soft bedding, taking in the smooth material. I trace the pattern with my thumb. Standing up, the carpet feels like I’m walking on clouds when I head to the door. I don’t recognize the room, but it feels like I should know it. 

The hallway I walk through has pictures of my brothers and I hanging up on the white wall, I carry on walking into the living room. A bright light shines from the ceiling and illuminates the room, a TV plays reruns of some game show on low volume and I smell food coming from the kitchen. I follow my senses and find myself in the kitchen. Standing next to the stove is a woman, she has long blonde hair that hangs down her back, and she wears red pjs and white slippers and is humming to an AC/DC song. The woman suddenly turns round and notices me, her face lights up in a smile and she walks over to me. 

“Took you long enough.” She kisses me on the cheek and places a glass that she was holding onto the table. 

“Shut up.” I laugh, sitting down on one of the wooden chairs that are placed around the table. In front of me a plate of pasta with tomato sauce and sausages appears.

“Your favorite.” The woman says, sitting down opposite me and picking up the glass filled with red wine. 

“Thank you, Toni.” I reply. How did I know her name? 

“Eat up; don’t let my cooking get cold.” Toni laughs. “It’ll start to taste gross.”

“It’s already started.” I mutter, jokingly.

“Shut your mouth.” Toni tells me, sticking her tongue out at me. “You can’t cook any better.”

“True.” I admit, taking another bite. 

Once we’ve finished our food, I sit down on the sofa and pick up a book from the coffee table. I read the title: ‘Hallucinations’. I pick it up and skim the blurb.

“Either one of us is tripping or this isn’t our book.” I turn round to face Toni who’s standing with her back to me.

“Oh, yeah?” She questions.

“Yeah, we have a book all about hallucinating and crap.” I laugh, throwing it back down and resting against the sofa.

Suddenly, I feel hands around my throat and clinging to my hair. In a snap I stand up and get out of their grip, and then I grab a hold of them and fling them over the sofa I was once sitting on. The person stands up and glares at me.

“Toni, what the hell are you doing?” I shout, readying myself to fight.

“Toni?” The girl questions, smirking. “Try again.”

Standing in front of me is not a blonde haired woman but a man with short brown hair and cuts all over his face. I stare in horror when I realize who it is, Lucifer.

“You’re not supposed to be here?” I growl.

“Where is here?” He smiles.

“This room!” I shout.

“You’re going insane.” Lucifer walks up to me and circles me. “You’re going insane, Aubrey. Every day you’re letting yourself go crazy.”

“What do you want from me?” I ask, watching his every move.

“I want you.” He growls. “I want you because when I have you, I have your brothers, I have your little angel pal and I have the drunken old man. When I have you, I can kill them.”

“You’ll never have me.” I tell him, swinging at him but he disappears and reappears in another place. “I won’t let it happen, you son of a bitch.”

“That’s what they all say.” Lucifer picks up the hallucinations book and turns to a random page. “Let’s see, ‘after a while, everyone gives into their mind.’”

“It doesn’t say that.” I tell him. “You’re lying.”

“I might be, but it’s getting to your head.” He laughs. “Watch out, Aubrey, before it kills someone.”

All of a sudden, I watch Lucifer storm towards me and scream in my face. I cover my ears and shout at him to stop, but it doesn’t stop. The shouting never stops.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the Supernatural characters


End file.
